Daily Thoughts

So what takes up so much of Mr. Tim’s time that he cane only find the time once a week to post on his bloody blog? That’s a good question. While it would seem that in an effort to simplify my I’ve managed to make it slightly bit more complicated. What is the one greatest thing that can complicate a man’s life? Take a guess, and I’ll only give you one try. A woman always complicates life, and yes that has what’s complicated mine. And you know what, I say bring on the complication and piles of it! I know some of you are aware of this special someone in my life, and you are all dying to meet her. Well, I’m dying for everyone I know to meet her too. Here’s the real complicated part she’s hundreds of miles away. She really does want to be able to meet my friends and family and we already have some of that planned out.

The other normalcies of life seem to be taking up the rest of my time. I do finally have the couple of DVD projects done. I wont’ be doing any more editing on the Guys Night Out it’s just going to have to go as is. So it would seem other than my podcast I now have no side projects going on, which is kind of nice. OK, I just realized that’s not true as I’m still waiting to complete the Cantata recording that I began way back in December. Waiting to get some feedback on it.
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So I’m the biggest loser on the face of the earth. How could I be so foolish and self-involved to not take one moment to connect with someone I care so much about? I’m unworthy to have someone in my life that cares for me when I can hurt them in this way. I call out to Lord for His foregivess, and even more I call out to her, the one I care so deeply for, Vanessa, for her forgiveness. Yes, I’m sharing with the world that knows me about how I feel about Vanessa, and how I’ve so foolishly let her down. Maybe you think she’ll get over it, but why should she. She has ever right to be upset with me, and question my commitment to her. Why does my brain have to act to analytical and logical. Relationships don’t fit in a box that you can easily label, that come with instructions. My mind wants that, why can’t I just go with my emotions. Forget about what seems logical. Perhaps I’ve destroyed what we had. Perhaps this will be my punishment. Why must I be this way?