Youth group tonight was kind of odd, and then I never really expect (or ever want) it to be “normal”. Hangout and game time was good. The game we played I had been apart of this summer when we played it. Let’s just say I ended up eating the banana that time. I wasn’t in the mood for eating a banana and I wasn’t in the mood to get my white shirt stained again, as happened to me last time. I found a way to bow out of the game and just snap some photos. [side note: That reminds me that I'll have to get the photos from tonight up on the photo gallery.] I would have to say that God was moving through our praise and worship time. As a worship leader, when you can let all of the pressures of “getting things right”, and truely use the time as your own act of worship, the Spirit can move. I was in awesome wonder as I took moments to listen to the youth be in a spirit of praise and worship to God. Amazing!

The teaching time was kind of a roller coaster, but I pray that God’s truth was stayed and touch hearts. Our small group time went pretty well i think, it can always be a struggle for me to use the time to dig deeper and not just spew back the words already spoken during the large group time. I always feel like the questions given to use leaders just move in that direction. My heart is to try to get deeper with my guys. I want to find out what they think about all this, what they struggle with, even share in some way how I also struggle with things, but also how God gives me what I need to get through. After the small group time I did have an opportunity to talk with Andrew, the youth director, about some things. We’re going to be getting together for supper next Monday.

Well, that’s about the gist of my day. There is also the aspect that my blog has been getting some relationship related traffic. And just a note to a few of you, you know who you are, you be nice to Vanessa. If things get out of hand there could be a small pounding in order. :-} Valete!

I’m finding it nice to pretty much have all my projects for people done. I’ve got another that will be starting, a missionary promo, but I don’t expect that to tak too much time. My big project, that I’m having a lot of fun with, is the whole podcast thing. I’ve gotten some encouraging and help feedback from people. I really can’t wait to be joining the podcasting community. I don’t really know how large my listenership will really even be. I guess I’m really hoping that it starts to expand beyond just the people I know. It’ll mostly start there, but I really want this to me another ministry tool. Time and again I get a sense of calling to bring Christ into the online world. I really believe that the online world is so much farker than we even realize. The worst of it all is that our young people and living online more and more. I just hope I can be used by God to bring a little glimmer of light to that world.

Well, tonight was a youth group night once again. It was a rather strange night. Everyone seemed to be a bit rowdy and not all there. The music went so-so, I always have such high expectations for the music. I just let it go and hope that God can still use it. I wouldn’t ever claim to be a great, or even good, praise team leader. I’m just making myself available to God.

Well, in a little over a week, I head to the Twin Cities to spend a weekend with Vanessa. I haven’t talked about her much, if at all really. Neither of us really knows where things may head, if anywhere really. The distance has been a concern for me, as most of you might have guessed. At this point and time my primary focus is on God’s leading, for my entire life not just with Vanessa. Her and I have talked about this, and I think she is thinking in those terms too now. I think was is most hard is that both of us would like to get to know each other much better and see if there is a shot here for something more, but it’s a little hard to actually spend time hanging out. I know that God has a plan for all of this, and so long as we continue to be focusing on Him, He’ll reveal things as we go. Like I’ve hear it said many times, His timing is not always our timing.

Well, I’m calling it a night. I kind of felt a bit behind in the blogging. One slight issue I have is that I’ve actually got like 3 blogs to keep up with now. There is this one, a second one that Vanessa and I are using to kind of share thoughts with each other, and then there’s the podcast/blog. This may not allow for me to post eveyday to all of them, however, I’m hoping to get into a bit more regular blog posts. There may even be a little bit of cross-posting that’ll happen too I suppose. Till later!

The first day of youth group begins tomorrow, and we had are first youth praise team meeting today, since Christmas that is. Tonight we just came up with a list of songs we want to do this winter/spring. I’ll be putting together the set lists and get them all the songs. I’ve even created a schedule that will be available online as well. I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things with the youth. We had a really excellent youth leaders this past Saturday that really put some things into perspective for all of us I think.

It finally came to me today, that I need to get back in the groove of the semi-circle, you know from the Life Shapes that I’ve talked about in the past. Life is so much more enjoying when you work from rest. The reality of it all is that these things I have been working on, while they are good things, are not so important in the grand scheme of things. It’s so easy for me to want to give everyone the world, I end up running myself ragged and my life suffers in all areas. I really wanted to get into a regular excercise routine (thanks for the jokes ), and unless I carve out a set time it won’t happen. Also my spiritual growth, specifically my reading and devotions time, has suffered some over the past couple of weeks. I think finally tonight I shall get my body back on the early to bed and early to rise schedule. With any luck I’ll be trying out one of those workout DVDs from my friend tomorrow.

On a good note, I have had some wonderful and amazing spiritual conversations with people over the past couple weeks. That is the kind of conversations I miss having from way back when I was a counselor at camp. I remember many nights sitting in an extra room, or in a hallway, talking about stuff that counts & praying for each other. Those were some wonderful times. It’s times like that, as they come along in life, that I really cherish. God has been working amazingly in my life over this past fall. I know the difference has been taking time each day to spend in His Word, oh how He has blessed that time. This is the key, and I think it finally took an understanding that the Christian life is not meant to be easy in anyway, and if you’re feeling that your Christian walk is easy, chances are you’re not growing much. It’s through the hardness of things that real growth comes, when we get out of what’s comfortable. This is a huge thing for me, even now I’m longing for a return back to a “normal” schedule, but my only desire really is that my time with God doesn’t suffer. If a normal life means a stale spiritual walk, then no thank you.

On one final note. I haven’t talked about eHarmony much, partly cause I haven’t had a lot come of it, except that isn’t entirely true. I have more recently been in communication with a couple of people. At this point I’m going about it with no expectations, nothing more then having an opportunity to meet some interesting people. If something more comes of it then great, either way I think I’ll most likely let my subscription run out. I think I’ve finally come to a point where I can truely say that I’m leaving it in God’s control. I’m not “giving up” as some might say, I’m simply going to take life as God brings it my way. I think I’m getting to the point where I could feel comfortable going on a date without needing it to mean something. I guess I’m finally coming to terms with my feelings of inadequecy. I may have felt that women wouldn’t be interested in me, well if that my feeling why would they want to be with someone who feels that way? Duh. I actually had a perfect stranger tell me how good looking I was, and that I reminded her of a previous boyfriend. I was pretty amazed and humbled by this.

Well, of course I’m back to the long winded posts again. Perhaps this wasn’t long enough to make up for the lost posts, oh well. Sometimes life just gets busy, and some things have to just get left by the wayside.

Before I go…oh how I was envious, and bummed, about the new Intel Macs that were announced today. Wish my ole iBook would have held out a little longer. My new PowerBook has been serving me very well but the possibilities that an Intel Mac suggest just seem too good. Well, perhaps within 6 months they shall come out with a cheap Intel MacMini that I might justify buying.

Well, my eyes are calling me to go to sleep. Until the next post, which should be soon and more often, valete!

Youth praise team practice went really well tonight. I think I’ve got a plan that is going to work to do music in the fellowship hall, we’ll see. We’ll be taking a break next week, then have a practice of Christmas music to lead for the Christmas party.

Chad, called me today. I felt bad that I was right at the beginning of the Bible study and couldn’t really talk. Then there’s youth group tomorrow, game night on Thursday, and head down to Le Sueur for the Cantata on Friday for the weekend. It never fails, Decemeber is always the busy month. The most important thing I want to be getting done before Christmas is Chad & Laura’s wedding DVD.

I’ve kind of been surprise, and humbled, by the number of comments I’ve received on my writting. I guess when you are a social introvert by nature, yet a fairly creative individual that the thoughts in your head have to come out in some form. My form has been my blogging. I used to write a lot longer ago, like high school & elementary school. When the computer was put in my hands I kind of lost sight of the writting. I haven’t done much for writting since 10th grade when I completed a year of college writting & english. Even though I may not have the deepest vocabulary (thx Anders ) it would seem that my writing is fairly easy for people to read. Now the length of my posts isn’t perhaps the easiest to take in.

Well, once again my pillow is calling (as I listen to “Who Am I” by Casting Crowns). Valete!

Well after continuous looks at the UPS package tracking it appeared that I wouldn’t get my new PowerBook until tomorrow. Well wouldn’t you know it, I got back from lunch and there sitting on my desk was the box, simply amazing. I began the process of trying to get all my stuff I had on the old machine onto the new one. It went ok, but I did have a hang up that I had to resolve by doing a system update/install. It sort of appeared like the system has 10.3.7 installed on it rather than the 10.4 it came with. Well it all got resolved and my system is pretty much back to where I had things before. All my apps seem to be running pretty good. I’m getting used to this new machine nicely.

Well, I had a delightful little IM chat today. And some nice converstations with some co-workers. Youth praise team practice resumed today, however some members I think forgot about it. I’ll remind them all tomorrow, and we’ll do another practice next week before we’ll lead that Wednesday. I think we’ll be taking a break for the rest of December, it’s going to be kind of busy month for me, and probably most others too.

Well, it’s getting a bit later than I’d like, so off to bed I go. Valete!