This morning wasn’t hard because of the weather, the terrain, or my physical state, this morning my run was consumed with a battle of my emotions and an ugly part of me that rears it’s head every now and then.
Unfortunately, I spent little time during my run in worship or prayer, most of it was spent asking God to change my heart. I have struggled with grace taking a back seat when life gets tough, when I’m faced with the reality of an imperfect world. I quickly turn to frustration and anger. It’s a side of me that I’m ashamed of and generally ends up turning my thoughts against myself with feelings of negative self worth and the desire to just run away from everything. It’s a roller coaster I have lived with much of my life. There are days it feels like the sort of thing the Apostle Paul dealt with. When I think about what it is in me the song Monster by Skillet is what comes to my mind and paints a pretty clear picture of what it’s like for me.
When it comes to #WhyIRun there is a part of it that has nothing to do with clean water but is something that gives me time away from everything where it can be just God and me, and the road. #monster #grace #heart