Big L is Me…

So I’m the biggest loser on the face of the earth. How could I be so foolish and self-involved to not take one moment to connect with someone I care so much about? I’m unworthy to have someone in my life that cares for me when I can hurt them in this way. I call out to Lord for His foregivess, and even more I call out to her, the one I care so deeply for, Vanessa, for her forgiveness. Yes, I’m sharing with the world that knows me about how I feel about Vanessa, and how I’ve so foolishly let her down. Maybe you think she’ll get over it, but why should she. She has ever right to be upset with me, and question my commitment to her. Why does my brain have to act to analytical and logical. Relationships don’t fit in a box that you can easily label, that come with instructions. My mind wants that, why can’t I just go with my emotions. Forget about what seems logical. Perhaps I’ve destroyed what we had. Perhaps this will be my punishment. Why must I be this way?

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5 Comments

  1. oh dear oh dear oh dear. praying for you buddy. hang in there. remember that no one is perfect all the time, including you and vanessa. I don’t know the situation but I know that if God wants it to work out, it will. Chin up.

    -alex

  2. I want everyone to know that there is nothing that Tim can do to make me think he is a loser. I know that is not true and I know that like Alex said neither of us are perfect – I know there are some things that I’ve done to bring this whole thing on myself and I feel horrible about that. Tim, please don’t ever feel like you can do or not do anything that will turn me away. I think you’ve already proven that you are a Godly man – and will always do your best to serve Him and that is all I can ask for.

  3. Both Alex and Venessa are right on. Hang in there Tim, we all make our mistakes, if we didnt, how in the world could we be called a human? Sorry I havent been around in a while but I have been prayin! God Bless

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