Big L is Me…

ByTim Nolte
5 Comments
So I’m the biggest loser on the face of the earth. How could I be so foolish and self-involved to not take one moment to connect with someone I care so much about? I’m unworthy to have someone in my life that cares for me when I can hurt them in this way. I call out to Lord for His foregivess, and even more I call out to her, the one I care so deeply for, Vanessa, for her forgiveness. Yes, I’m sharing with the world that knows me about how I feel about Vanessa, and how I’ve so foolishly let her down. Maybe you think she’ll get over it, but why should she. She has ever right to be upset with me, and question my commitment to her. Why does my brain have to act to analytical and logical. Relationships don’t fit in a box that you can easily label, that come with instructions. My mind wants that, why can’t I just go with my emotions. Forget about what seems logical. Perhaps I’ve destroyed what we had. Perhaps this will be my punishment. Why must I be this way?

Technical Architect

A Christ-follower, husband, father, and WordPress Developer with Forum One.

Similar Posts

  • Change Me…Change Me…Please Change Me

    ByTim Nolte
    Did I change your mind, with what I said last night? Did I break your heart, by straying so far? From what you have in mind, for my life? Would you change me, from who I’ve been lately? ‘Cause I know I’m nothing without you. Did my words betray, the patience I once claimed? Can’t you see it in my face? I need your grace. Would you change me, from who I’ve been lately? ‘Cause I know I’m nothing without you. Would you save me, from the way I’ve been lately? ‘Cause I can’t see living without you. Would you speak to me? Show me what I need. Change Me – Sanctus Reel

  • I’m Sick…And Tired…

    ByTim Nolte
    Each day passes by and I wonder what ever happened to the daily need to publish my thoughts. Well it is still there, however I find my time somehow filled with other things. The time passes and my eyes grow heavy with the thought of sleep. Perhaps I have more of a life now, perhap I have come to a point of not so depressing thoughts. I guess one factor that has changed in my life is the on-going communication I have with others. I actually have real people to care on discussion with. Perhaps that is satisfying my need to communicate with the world at large via my blog. That is probably true in part. I still find it easy to tap away my…
  • / /

    Hoping to Get Back in The Groove…

    ByTim Nolte
    Something that came up at our Life Shapes meeting this morning, was the subject of mission. This is something that I’ve been sort of struggling with, in that I’m trying to determine what my mission should be. I think this brings me back to the Purpose Driven Life. I have felt, for a long time, that my heart is for youth. This has been what has drawn me to my years working at Inspiration Point, and my current involvement with the Bethel youth. I’m not sure how the Missional Community of Faith and my heart for youth might be tied together. This is something that I’ll be looking for God’s direction in, as is life in general. Well, this is just s short post. Let’s…

  • DISC and Colds…

    ByTim Nolte
    Not going to post much today. We had a seminar on DISC profiles today at work. It was good to understand our own personalities and how we should interact with others of different personalities. I didn’t end up going to Fargo, I need to get some rest and didn’t want things to get too late getting home. Although it’s late now, I’m heading to bed soon. I did get together with John & Anders and we watched The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy it was funny to watch again. It’s on my list of movies to purchase. I think Anders has convinced me to read the books. I got notice that my new digital camera should be here Tuesday. I’m excited to start getting out…

5 Comments

  1. oh dear oh dear oh dear. praying for you buddy. hang in there. remember that no one is perfect all the time, including you and vanessa. I don’t know the situation but I know that if God wants it to work out, it will. Chin up.

    -alex

    Reply

  2. I want everyone to know that there is nothing that Tim can do to make me think he is a loser. I know that is not true and I know that like Alex said neither of us are perfect – I know there are some things that I’ve done to bring this whole thing on myself and I feel horrible about that. Tim, please don’t ever feel like you can do or not do anything that will turn me away. I think you’ve already proven that you are a Godly man – and will always do your best to serve Him and that is all I can ask for.

    Reply

  4. Both Alex and Venessa are right on. Hang in there Tim, we all make our mistakes, if we didnt, how in the world could we be called a human? Sorry I havent been around in a while but I have been prayin! God Bless

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)