I think the crazy thing is I finally had to come to the reality that I need to let things go. It can be so easy for me to get worked up about something, and in the end it really isn’t very significant in the whole scope of things. What benefit is there to let myself get all worked up to the point where I can’t get to sleep and my mind just keeps cranking away. I know that one of my downfalls is that my mind always seems to be grinding away about something, or many things. It’s apparent as well that it obviously takes more energy to resist something than it does to just go along with it. Now, don’t take that the wrong way either. I’m not condoning anything here. I only mean that in my situation where something is relatively small in comparison to the grand scheme of things, it might be just as well to just let it go and move on. So yes, that is the way to go, but I’m not saying it’s easy to just let things go. I find myself still finding it hard to just let it go.
I guess right now I’m still just struggling with feelings of basically feeling untrusted. I guess I’ve always tried to live as truthful as I can be. I don’t want to be living in such a way that cause people to feel that have test my trustworthiness. When you’ve lived so long with a solid character in the eyes of those around you, then to have that basically sripped completely away it seems like all you’ve done over the years has been for nothing. What can be the lesson in all of this? Perhaps God is just trying to make it clear that I cannot take anything for granted. As I think about it as well, I feel like I’m taking part in the semi-circle (Life Shapes), and I’m going through a season of pruning and needing to simply abide in Christ.
As I am once again reminded of the Life Shapes, I’m feeling that I need to get back to that as well. The Life Shapes were a big part of my life for some time, I even started a podcast because of them. I really feel like this can be a time of great, and deep, learning if I approach it that way. I do seek God’s wisdom each day, but with a perspective of being pruned and taking time to abide in Christ, I believe God can teach me much more than I would have otherwise.
OK, so I once again got on a theological soap box, but really that is where my heart is at. Honestly, I think being able to share with others what God is doing in my life is of much more value than the fact that I got a new DVD player (which I did :-p).
So the clock has once again ticked past a bit farther than I should have liked. I’ll be calling it a night for now. The rest of this week is going to be filled with quite a few activities so it may be another week before I get to posting again, we’ll see. I’d like to perhaps closing my evening with blogging again. I love being able to share my thoughts, as it helps me to process my day as well. OK, until later!