Ok, so I began chatting with one of my eHarmony matched on IM tonight also. I feel like a jerk as I just was feeling this wasn’t right. She’s hundreds of miles away and not very computer savvy. This is just a big red flag for me as I just don’t feel I can get to know her wel enough for it to go anywhere. I had one bad experience last year that cause a huge amount of heart ache and I’m not about to get into something like that again. In this case I just didn’t feel there was any good way for us to get to really know each other. So I tried to move things on as nicely as I could. I also closed a couple of other matches as I just knew that it just wouldn’t work for me. I’m starting to think I was an idiot to think something could come of eHarmony. I guess there is one connection I’ve made that seems like a good shot. I’m having my doubts that’s going to go anywhere. I know my expectations never seem to quite meet with reality. This just seems backwards, as I’m such the analytical and logical thinking person. As usual I’m looking for the instructions, and their still written in Chinese, lol. Seriously though, I have no good experience to use as a guide for myself. I just want to do the right thing. There is someone I’d like to get to know better but I decided I’d kind of leave the ball in her court. Perhaps that’s a mistake. Are girls looking for a guy to chase after them? I guess if I got the heads up for that I’g go for it. Maybe I just give up too easily, and no woman wants a guy like that. It’s all about “playin the game” I guess. Why does there have to be a game to play. Guess that’s the geek in me, wants everything to be a 1 or a 0.
Ok, I started feeling a little negativity coming on. Need to stop that right there. I guess the hard thing for me is that I want to find that special someone so badly. It bothers me when people ask me or kind of make the statement “so you’re single”. I feel like they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. What is wrong with me? Am I not the kind of guy that some women out there wouldn’t be interested in? I mean honestly, I’m not trying to be boastful in any way, but there are a ton of people around me that think I’m a great guy and compliment me on so many things. What’s my problem? I’m thinking I’m going to have to just put my feelings on the line. It’s going to suck to get hurt and shot down but I guess at some point I’ll either get calloused to it or someone will finally be interested in me. I have to say that I’m not requiring any woman to be a computer geek for me to be interested in them. It would be nice if their at least comfortable with using one. I guess my thought is whoever it is should be my best friend and that we should have some common interests right. It would be nice if at least one of my major interests were the same as theirs. For me that would be music, ministry, and technology (in no particular order of course).
Well, here’s looking towards tomorrow. Life is still pretty good. I have to be sure to keep it in mind that God has a plan for all of us. And they are all different. I loook at other that I know and sometimes I’m envious. Shame on me. God will always give me what I need. I’m extremely thankful for all of the social activities He’s given me the past few weeks. Amen! chow for now.