Something that I’ve struggled with over the past few days has been this thing called life, and more specifically the future of it. As each day passes, and new things arise, I wonder why my future looks like such an unknown. At times I wonder if I should be making plans and setting goals. The reality of it is that for quite some time my ultimate goal has been to serve the Lord wherever I’m at. I’m doing that right now, so what further plans should I be making. Two things have come up more recently that have cause me to question where I’m going and what God has in store for me.
One thing, that had it’s beginnings back in June of last year, has been the impact of the Life Shapes on my life. This has grown into regular gatherings of people that desire to be living truly authentic lives, where the Life Shapes arae lived out daily. This has become a movement being referred to as a Community of Faith. My involvement has mostly been one as a learner, but I’m getting a sense that perhaps I maybe called to more than that. I’m not sure that I feel adequate to be someone that is helping to lead this movement, but I know that God will give me the guidance, direction, and all that I would need to do that.
I think it is easy to use the excuse of inadequacy, when in reality we are afraid of moving out of our comfort zones. I’m at a place right now in my life where I can serve, and be apart of a ministry, and feel pretty comfortable there. This is taking me back to this Christian bubble I feel apart of so many times. The fears that arise from stepping out of the comfort, into the unknown, is nothing other than sin working it’s way out in our lives. Where is that person who is so on fire for Christ that nothing will stand in their way of sharing Him with others? That is the person who knows that the only comfort we need to be in is that of God’s continued comfort. As long as we are abiding in Christ we can have comfort in all things in this world.
The other item that has caused things to seem a bit cloudy, or muddy, has been this area of relationshps. I’ve mentioned it slightly, but for the past couple of months I have been in communication with someone through eHarmony. Yes, you read it right. I have been looking to approaching this thing from the aspect of just trying to establish a friendship. The thing that one has to fight against is the obvious thoughts of something more than just a friendship. The very fact that eHarmony advertises itself as the place to meet your “soul mate”. Just causes some sort of expectation in and of itself. Those darn commercials.
The biggest issue in this for me, and thus the questioning of my future, is this is once again a long distance ordeal. As it stands, I’m not too keen on the long distance thing. Those of you that know me probably understand this, after my last fiasco. I’m really not looking for a repeat of any of those unfortunate events. This time arround, I’ve kind of made a conscious decision, to not let anything that happens with this change my thinking as to where God is calling me. I guess I have come to realize that God is the only constant in out lives. I never want to lose sight of Him as the focus of my life. If it is His will that I should find someone to share in the journey of following Christ, then I know that He will bring our paths together. I no longer need to be looking for that Y in the road. It will come when, or if, God intends it to be there.
Well, I’ve kind of just realized that this post got a bit longer than I thought I would actually make it. If you haven’t realized it by now, when I get going the words just tend to flow out of me. It rather interesting how I can go on and on in type, but if you try to get me to do this when it come to speaking, good luck. I suppose that the more speaking, in the public sense, that one does the more comfortable it becomes. To think if I could carry on a converstation like I do my writting. Well, the eye lids are heavy, and my body is calling me to rest. God bless, and good night!